11
Mar
2010
Have You Heard About This? Mississippi School Cancels Prom Because Lesbian Wants to Bring Her Girlfriend
It’s very rare that I ever blog about anything other than books here at Bibliofreak. But sometimes something happens, and I must use this blog for social justice. I regret that.
But more than that, I regret the decision a school district in Mississippi has made in canceling prom rather than allow a lesbian student to bring her girlfriend.
Here’s my angry letter:
To Whom It May Concern,
I’m not one to write angry letters often, but I felt I must add my voice to what I am sure must be hundreds of e-mails, letters, and phone calls you are receiving this week regarding your decision to cancel prom rather than allow a lesbian student to invite her girlfriend.
What strikes me as obvious, and perhaps this is because I just attended prom nine years ago with my now husband, a prom that was also attended by gay and lesbian friends with their dates, is that you are focussing the whole student body’s attention on this girl. Prom is almost sacrosanct in our culture, and to take it away and leave so obvious a target–someone who may already be a target of harassment due to her sexual orientation–is nearsighted to say the least. Do you think that the other students, girls who have been dreaming of prom their whole lives, who may have already bought their dresses, are going to blame the school board, or will they blame the more immediate target, the one that they pass in the halls and see in the locker room?
If you do not already have a Gay-Straight Alliance at your high school, I urge you to form one. If you do not retract your decision regarding this year’s prom, the (most likely) minority population at your school will need the support that this can offer. You might be surprised who ends up on their side.
I wonder if you thought about the image this gives your school district and state. I grew up in the Midwest, and now reside on the West Coast. My husband was born in the South and so I know that not all Southerners are hard-hearted or bigoted. However, I’ll bet that when most people unfamiliar with the South read about your decision, they (admittedly, wrongly, stereotypically) will shrug and say that that figures, that this is a school district, after all, in Mississippi, a backwards part of the country.
Lastly, I wonder at the reason for your blatant discrimination in the first place? For almost forty years now the American Psychological Association has regarded homosexuality as benign. Our current president has asked for a repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, so that our brave service men and women can serve openly and enjoy the same benefits as their heterosexual colleagues. If, perhaps, you have a moral, biblical objection to homosexuality, the least I can do is say that although it made him squeamish to do so, at the request of his Mother, Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding at Cana, rather than let the party disperse. Do you really think that He would cancel Prom over this?
I urge each and every one of you to to write at least a few lines to the school board asking them to rescind their decision. You need not write what I wrote. Just a few lines to let them know that there is another person out there, in another part of the country, world, who objects to their decision. You can find all of the necessary e-mails by clicking on the link above.
Great post, great letter. Thanks for letting us know about this.
Thanks for your email. This is just so awful.
What a great letter! I couldn’t believe when I heard this…so close-minded. And what you said is so true. The kids won’t blame the school board. They’ll blame the girl who is a lesbian. Scary thought about what could happen. I’m going to send them a short email letting them know I disagree too.
J.T.,
I had to come back and paste the body of the email I sent the school board so you could read it:
I just had to write to you to express my utter dismay at your school board’s handling of this situation. What kind of message are you sending your students about tolerance? And a friend of mine made a good point in a letter she sent to you. Who will the upset students blame for their cherished prom being cancelled? Not the school board. They will focus their anger on this one girl and people like her. Have you thought about the repercussions of this decision? It seems to me that you haven’t.
I live in the south (Tennessee) and frankly I am not liking the bad name your actions are giving “the South” in general. This is the 21st century, not the 60s. Face it—you were wrong then and you’re wrong now. Very badly done.
What do you think?
Thanks for helping to raise awareness of this issue!
YOu did a great job with the letter. I can’t believe that. Honestly, I bet if they hadn’t made a big deal about it, no one would have even cared. It is the people who are so worried about what the general public will think who make a small issue bigger than it is. You made a very valid point. Not only is this one student and her girlfriend being punished, but the entire student body is being punished. All because a girl wants to take someone she cares about with her to the prom. Wow…you are right. Take a student who is probably already being at least a little bit tormented at school and have the cancelling of the entire prom be her fault…holy high school turmoil.
Poor kid. Do the governing school boards know this is why the vast majority of Americans think people from the South are ignorant and stupid? I’m embarrassed to be from Texas.
I can’t believe a school would do that to its students. Unbelievable. I hope the kids are smart enough to put the blame in the right place. Great letter, great post. Thank you.
This is so disheartening. For those out there who think that equality is a dead issue; that minority groups are given the same rights; that we are a free country; well it’s time to look again. Thank you for the heads up and I will definitely be sending an email.
I cannot believe how cruel this is. Not just for excluding the girl from her prom, but for subjecting her to the inevitable anger of her classmates, who I’m sure blame her rather than the school board for the prom’s cancellation. People can be so ugly.
I also feel sorry for the girl who was excluded as everyone will blame her. These are young people who wouldnt be old enough to see who the actual culprit is here. Coming from Asia (only international schools have any kind of prom) and local schools are for the main same sex schools and nothing of this kind of end of school show is put on – we dont face the issue at this level. Homosexuality and lesbianism
is not openly discussed though it is very much in existence.
I feel so awful for that girl. Mississippi is about 50 years behind the rest of the country all the time it seems. I mean, can you imagine how everyone else must feel about having their prom canceled? She must feel absolutely guilty and frustrated and angry and rejected and I just can’t imagine. It is 2010 and I hope that the school gets publicly and nationally humiliated for this decision.
Very well said.