Bibliofreakblog

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner

This is going to be one of those posts where I mostly just quote from the book.  James Finn Garner, takes classic fairy tales, and makes them satirically politically correct.  While occasionally that can be offensive (odd, that), it’s all in good fun.

For example, Little Red Riding Hood has this exchange with the wolf when she meets him:

“On the way to Grandmas’s house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.  She replied, ‘Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.’
     The wolf said, ‘You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.’
     Red Riding Hood said, ‘I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.’”

When the wood-cutter comes to her rescue, Little Red and the wolf stop what they are doing because they are so offended that he would deign to save her.  In fact, the Grandma pops out of the wolf because she was also offended.  Then they use his own ax to cut off his head and decide to live together in an “alternative household”.

The author takes great pains to often justify the backgrounds of his characters.  For instance, Rapunzel begins:

“There once lived an economically disadvantaged tinker and his wife.  His lack of material accomplishment is not meant to imply that all tinkers are economically marginalized, or that if they are, they deserve to be so.  While the archetype of the tinker is generally the whipping person in classical bedtime stories, this particular individual was a tinker by trade and just happened to be economically disadvantaged.”

Then he says of the witch:

“Now, this witch was very kindness-impaired.  (This is not meant to imply that all, or even some, witches are that way, nor to deny this particular witch her right to express whatever disposition came naturally to her.  Far from it, her disposition was without doubt due to many factors of her upbringing and socialization, which unfortunately, must be omitted her in the interest of brevity.)”

Since fairy tales were originally meant to be instructional, and to teach a lesson, many of the stories in this book have been updated to include issues of deforestation, womyn’s rights, and the marginalization of indigenous people.  In the story of the Three Little Pigs, the wolf huffs and puffs and blows the house down, and develops “a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling, and dolphin shows.”

This quick read is highly recommended for when you need to stop taking life too seriously.

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: A Collection of Modern Tales for Our Life and Times

If you like this book/author, you might like:

(my reviews in blue)

Fool by Christopher Moore
Legally Correct Fairy Tales by David Fisher
The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Lane Smith
Feminist Fairy Tales by Barbara G Walker
Politically Correct Parables by Robert Martin Walker
Fractured Fairy Tales by AJ Jacobs 
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire
Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Graham-Greene
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen and Ben H. Winters
Fables vol 1: Legends in Exile by Bill Willingham

Other works by James Finn Garner:

Once upon a More Enlightened Time : More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
Politically Correct Holiday Stories: For an Enlightened Yuletide Season
Politically Correct, the Ultimate Storybook: Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, Once upon a More Enlightened Time, and Politically Correct Holiday Stories
Apocalypse Wow!: A Memoir for the End of Time 
Recut Madness: Favorite Movies Retold for Your Partisan Pleasure